You’re The Gardener


“As soon as my husband came home, I’m like, I’m outta here! Have fun with the kids!”

This is something I once heard a mom jokingly say. In fact, I regularly see moms demonstrate irritation with having to deal with their kids. We laugh about how annoying our kids are, how we can’t wait to get away from them, and compare their absence to something like Heaven.

Truly, parenting can be tough, and it’s sometimes tempting to pity ourselves for having to deal with unruly children. But in reality, your children are the garden, and you’re the gardener. If weeds are growing wild in your garden, making it unattractive to spend any time there… You’re the gardener. If animals are coming through, stealing all the fruit you’ve worked hard to grow… You’re the gardener. If your plants are bearing fruit that you weren’t expecting… You’re the gardener.

As parents, we need to take responsibility for our children’s behavior. 95% of the time, their behavior reflects our parenting.

Don’t try to be the parent who is constantly trying to escape her responsibility to tend her garden, secretly (or not so secretly) hoping that someone else will come over to weed. If your child is a “problem child,” then get to the root by starting to examine the ways you’re interacting with him. Humbly correct what you’re doing wrong first, and then watch your child follow in your footsteps.

Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table. Ps. 128:3

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